Mother’s Contribution to Wedding Expenses

Question

Assalaamu alaykum Mufti I am a divorcee and I am concerned because our daughter is engaged and will be getting married soon. I fear my ex-husband will expect me to contribute significantly to the expenses of our daughter’s wedding reception. I am not in a position to do so and need Shariah guidance on this matter. Is the mother responsible for contributing towards the marriage expenses, especially if the father is financially sound and the mother is not? If so, what percentage should she contribute? How can I address this ongoing financial disagreement with him? Shukran

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

 

1. Let us state first and foremost that the expenses which our community generally tends to associate with weddings tend for the most part to be purely cultural and not imposed by Sharīʿah.
2. Aside from the mahr, which is an obligation upon the bridegroom, and the walīmah or wedding feast, which is a sunnah and is also the responsibility of the bridegroom, the Sharīʿah does not belabour any other party with obligatory expenses.
3. The meal to which the bride’s family invites is a cultural practice and not an obligation or recommendation of the Sharīʿah. The same goes for the expenses on clothing.
4. The above establishes that there is no intrinsic obligation upon the bride’s family, and that the expenses normally incurred are purely cultural practices. As such, there is from the side
of the Sharīʿah no obligation upon you—or anyone else, for that matter—to contribute towards those expenses.
5. Should your husband wish to undertake these expenses by himself he is free to do so. The Sharīʿah places no obligation on him to bear them, or on you to share in them.
6. Should you decide to participate in these expenses, you do so by your own free will, on your terms, and to the extent that your own finances allow. There is no set limit required of you, neither by the Sharīʿah nor by custom.

والله تعالى أعلم
And Allah knows best.

(Issued: November 2019)

MJC (SA)

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